Parkdale Manor Care Ctr

I cared for my 90 year old mom with Alzheimer's for 3 years in my home. I never wanted to put her in a home, but finally it became too much for me to handle on my own. As many of you well know, you devote every bit of your time and energy, neglecting all other relationships and yourself. I was exhausted and had only left my home twice in 6 weeks. I went to visit this home and poured my heart out to the social worker there, giving details of my mom's condition. We are private pay, not Medicaid. She assured me they would love to have her, and they dealt with Alzheimer's patients all the time. The environment and atmosphere were not impressive by any means, but my mom's disease had progressed to the point where she wouldn't notice the quality of her surroundings. With not much to choose from in the area, I was just looking for a caring place to place my mom in close proximity to where we lived as I wanted to be able to visit whenever possible. When we first got there, some of the people were friendly. We moved her in and I prayed I had made the right decision. The next day I came in to find my mom all alone and looking scared at a small table in the dining room. Everywhere around her were groups of residents eating together. I choked back my tears and sat with her while she ate. One of the kitchen staff was very friendly, but the rest of the aides stood around the room and never even smiled. They did not interact with any of the residents at all. Finally, another woman joined us at our small table. She had lost most of her sight and was recovering from a hand surgery. She was struggling to cut up her meat. I offered to help. She lit up and thanked me. The aides all just stood around. Up until this point my mom had eaten every meal at the dinner table with my family and I. She had been a lady with impeccable manners. I thought maybe they were waiting to see how she did, so I said nothing. The next day I came in and she was no where to be found. They had put her in a back room where they were feeding all of the people that could not feed themselves. I told the staff that she had always sat at the dinner table with us and with a little assistance I think she could handle the other dining room. They argued that she couldn't focus and she was wanting to get up. They said they wanted her to eat. An aide could have easily helped her adjust by sitting by her and assuring her, but instead they all stood around the room with sullen looks on their faces. I thought I needed to give the place a chance so I went along with their decisions. I cried all the way home. My mom had become more incontinent at home, but I took her to the restroom every 1 1/2 hours and we rarely had any accidents. Several times, I took her to the restroom at the nursing home and she was soiled. No one came to check on her. They made no effort to avoid her having accidents. I provided them with baby wipes. One aide was very sweet and said she appreciated it. Most barely spoke or smiled. In a 2 week period I watched my mom change from a sweet tiny lady that smiled, joked around and always thanked everyone for any help to someone who sat in a chair with her eyes closed and could barely hold her head up and never spoke. I knew the change in environment would set her back, and I knew her disease was progressing, but this was a huge and significant decline. A few of the nursing staff were genuinely nice and really cared, but most acted perturbed when I inquired about my mom. Less than 3 weeks after putting her in I received a call saying I needed to move her to a locked facility as she was falling and wandering and "they were afraid for her safety". Alzheimer's patients will wander. Twice, a little old man stood in my mom's room while I was there, once with his pants down around his ankles. It took a good 7 minutes before anyone noticed. They said my mom had gotten all the way to a utility closet. One, this is a safety issue and two this is a neglect issue, for her to get that far with no one noticing. My daughter and I both visited and both of us had made it in and out of the facility without anyone even seeing us on at least eight occasions. Once, my mom's chair alarm was going off as my daughter was leaving and was at the end of the hall, she waited to see if anyone would come and had to go back and put mom back in her chair. I met with the staff. They wanted her out. They said they were just concerned with her safety. Bottom line was she was too much work because she wanted to walk around once in awhile. Every time we went to see her she was like a zombie in her chair in her room. [Removed]. Unless your loved one can take care of themselves, or is in a vegetative state where they won't move, don't send them to Parkdale. Like I said, some of the staff genuinely care. Most act like they hate their jobs and definitely don't have an understanding of what caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's should look like. I hope they never have to place a loved one and face what my mom and our family had to face. There are other Alzheimer's patients there that wander. I don't know why my mother was singled out. I told them their decision was cruel and heartless. I did tell one of the nurses to extend our thanks and gratitude to those that showed my mother compassion and respect. God bless all of you that have to make this heart wrenching decision. God bless all of the caregivers that actually care.